A hunting party, hopelessly lost in the mountains, blamed their guide for leading them astray.
"You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!" they cried.
"I am," he said, "but I think we're in Wyoming now."
Two friends were at a bookstore perusing through the nonfiction section.
Friend 1: "Oh my goodness, they have this book! It’s a really great book. I highly recommend it."
Friend 2: "Really? What’s it about?"
Friend 1: "Oh, about 357 pages."
One day two friends were talking when the conversation was getting serious.
Friend 1: "So, tell me. How do you feel?"
Friend 2: "Well, with my fingers."
My neighbor introduced his wife to me by calling her his, "better half."
I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife as, "the lesser of two evils."