Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
Did you hear about the 2 hairdressers who got married?
They had the perfect family... two boys and one curl!
Friend 1: "Hey, how did you hurt your head?"
Friend 2: "Have you seen that electric pole which is exactly next to the school gate?"
Friend 1: "Yes."
Friend 2: "Yeah well, I didn't see it."
Teacher: "When I was of your age, I learned very quickly and was not as slow as you are."
Student: "Wow, you must have had a good teacher then, didn't you?"