Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV."
Other guy responded, "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine that, an SUV... what a great gift!"
"Yup! Socks, Underwear, AND Viagra!"
Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!
I just put my new hearing aid in...
I can even hear my thoughts now.
"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"