Latest Jokes

Ban Pre-Shredded cheese!

Make America GRATE again!

My mother, a meticulous housekeeper, often lectured my father about tracking dirt into the house. One day he came in to find her furiously scrubbing away at a spot on the floor and launching into a lecture.

"I don’t know what you’ve brought in," she said, "but I can’t seem to get this out."

He studied the situation for a moment and, without a word, moved a figurine on the window-sill where the sun was streaming in. The spot immediately disappeared.

My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. "I have a higher IQ, did better on my SAT's, and make more money than you," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead," I said.

She looked mystified. "How do you figure?"

"I married better," I replied.