Latest Jokes

When humans are young, they are pushed around in strollers...

When they are old, they are pushed around in wheelchairs...

In between, they are just pushed around...

A man walks into a posh restaurant and orders his meal. While he takes the first bite and is looking around, a monkey swings down and steals his plate from him before he is able to stop it.

The man asks the waiter, "Excuse me sir, who owns the monkey?"

The waiter replies, "It belongs to the piano player."

The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know your monkey stole my food?"

The pianist responds, "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."

Confucius says...

"Man who stands in front of car gets tired, man who stands behind car gets exhausted."