A kid asked his mother, “Mom, can you buy me those two toys that we had seen at the store the other day?”
His mother replied, “I will buy you one of them. One is enough to keep you busy at playtime.”
Later that day, the kid started doing his homework. The mother said, “Remember that you have two activities as homework today.”
The kid replied, “I will do one of them. One is enough to keep me busy at study time.”
If fortune tellers know the future, how come it's so difficult to find a happy medium?
A customer walks into a restaurant and orders a bowl of soup. The waiter brings it out and there's a fly in the bowl.
"Waiter, this soup has a fly in it," the customer says. "Please bring me another."
The waiter walks into the kitchen and tells the chef, "Another fly for the customer."
A cow and a pig are watching TV.
Pig: "Wanna watch something scary?"
Cow: "Okay by me."
So the pig changes channel to the Food Network.