Latest Jokes

After my wife landed a coveted job offer from UPS, we went out of town to celebrate.

While on our trip, she was contacted by the company's Human Resources department with an urgent request to complete and send back her tax forms.

"No problem," she said. "I'll FedEx them right over."

Three Boy Scouts, were fishing in a boat one day when they heard a lot of commotion. They followed the sounds and found another boat capsized as a man struggled to keep his head above water. Being Boy Scouts, they went to his aid and fished the man out.

The man was Bill Clinton. The ex-president toweled himself off and caught his breath, and thanked the three scouts. He asked if there was anything he could do for them. "I'd sure like a tour of the White House," the first scout said. "Can you still pull that off?"

"No problem," said Bill. "How's next week?"

"I want to go for a ride in Air Force One," said the second scout.

"We can do that next week, too," Bill replied.

"I'd like to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery," said the third.

"I'm sure we can arrange that," said Bill. "But son, you're awfully young to be worrying about that, aren't you?"

"You don't know my Dad," the scout replied. "When he finds out I helped save your life, he's gonna kill me!"