Latest Jokes

John was dozing against a tree with his fishing rod in the water. His friend came by and looked at the line. “You don’t have any bait on the hook,” he said.

“It’s too much trouble to clean the fish if I caught one,” replied John.

His friend said, “John, you are the laziest man I know. What you need is a wife and a family.”

John opened his eyes and said, “Do you know where I can find a pregnant woman?”

George Washington was such a great president.

He never blamed any of the country's problems on the previous administration.

Two skeletons were discussing their girlfriends.

"I think Bonnie is cheating on me."

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't know. I just feel it in my bones."

A pipe burst in a lawyer's house, so he called a plumber.

The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $600.

The lawyer exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a lawyer!"

The plumber replied sympathetically, "Neither did I when I was a lawyer."