Latest Jokes

A five-year-old boy had never spoken a word, ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "Soup's cold."

She was astonished, and said, "Honey, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"

The boy looked at her and replied, "Up until now, everything's been okay."

Two friends were going on a road trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid close attention to the road signs along the way.

They'd driven 30 miles when they saw one that read, "Clean Restrooms Ahead".

Two months later they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-bowl cleaner. Total restrooms cleaned: 450.

I got a job in a workout center, but they quickly let me go...

They said I wasn't fit for the job.

Little Johnny asked his Grandma how old she was.

Grandma answered, "39 and holding."

Johnny thought about that and then asked, "And how old would you be if you let go?"