Latest Jokes

I think I'm going to officially change my name to "Next"...

That way, I flash my ID, shout 'Excuse me, I'm Next' and I'll be able to go right to the front of the line.

A photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the lady of the house. She looked at the photos and commented, "These are great! You must have a good camera."

He didn't make any comment, but as he was leaving to go home he said, "That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."

An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.

"What did you do that for?" asked a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 35 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory!" commented the giraffe.

"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall".

The water went away and Noah threw open the doors and told the animals to go forth and multiply. As the animals left, two snakes stopped by Noah and said, "We can't do that."

"Do what?" said Noah.

"Multiply," said the snakes.

"Why not?" asked Noah.

"Because we're Adders," said the snakes.