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Favorite this joke To make sure I won't be late for work, my girlfriend calls me on the phone every morning to wake me up.
Wouldn't it be easier for her to just lean over, start shaking me, and yell, 'HEY! WAKE UP!'?
A frog, a duck, and a skunk went to the movies. The frog and duck were allowed to see it, but the skunk wasn't.
Why?
Because the frog had a greenback, the duck had a bill, but the skunk had only one scent.
It was Sunday morning and Mom told little Tommy to get dressed for church. She told him it was time he dressed himself. She then went to get dressed. After she was done, she went to check on Tommy.
Little Tommy was taking a long time but he finally came out and asked his mom to help him with his tie.
He had all his good clothes on except his shirt. His shirt was one of his old shirts that was torn and tattered. She asked him, "Why did you choose that shirt to go to church?"
Tommy said, "It is the best shirt for church, because it is 'hole-y'!"
Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The psychiatrist informs them that they will have to pass a simple test. He asks the first patient, "How much is two plus two?"
"Blue."
At which point the doctor calls in the orderly to escort the patient back to his room. Turning to the second patient, he asks, "What is six minus three?"
To which the patient replies, "Square."
Once again the orderly is called in to remove the patient. Turning to the third and last patient, he asks, "How much is five plus five?
The patient answers very confidently, "Ten."
The doctor, amazed, then inquires, "Very good. How did you figure it out?"
The patient reply, "Easy. Blue multiplied by square equals ten."
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