Latest Jokes

On the base a Private First Class (PFC) was working in the car repair shop. The phone rang. He answered. The man on the phone asked, "When will my car be fixed?"

The PFC replied, "Can't talk now I am working on some annoying General's car."

The man asked, "Do you know who this is?"

"No."

"This is the ANNOYING GENERAL!"

The PFC quickly asked, "Well, do you know who this is?"

"No."

"Good, goodbye!"

A young woman, who isn't too bright, goes to an office for a job interview. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

She counts carefully on her fingers for about 3 seconds before replying, "Umm... 23".

The interviewer tries another straight forward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot three!"

This isn't looking good, so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And eh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The girl bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Barbara".

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "Just out of curiosity, miss, we can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?"

"Oh that!" replies the girl, "I was just running through, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...'"

A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor.

After checking the chart, the doctor nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.

The man asked, "How often do I take these?"

"Let's start off with one every six hours. But they're not for you," replied the doctor. "They're for your wife."