Latest Jokes

A man goes into a patent office. He tells the clerk that he’s invented a baseball bat that dings when you hit the ball.

The clerk yells into the back room, "Hey Frank, it’s your turn, we have another 'ding bat'!"

I won $3 million on the Lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity.

Now I have $2,999,999.75!

Why did the man run around his bed?

To catch up on his sleep!

A neighbor asked his friend, who was celebrating 50 years of marriage, what the secret was to a long and happy marriage?

His friend replied, "When we were first married, we vowed to go out twice a week no matter how little money we had and we have done so for 50 years."

"Twice a week, you say?"

"Yeah. She goes out on Tuesday and I go out on Friday."