Teacher: Did you hear about the actress who attacked her husband?
Student: No, who was it?
Teacher: Reese...
Student: Witherspoon?
Teacher: No, with her knife!
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It's very time consuming.
My father, a retired factory worker, keeps reminiscing about the "good 'ol days" of his younger years.
Then without skipping a beat, he'll say something like, "but it really isn't so bad nowadays."
Then he goes right back to how nice he had it as a teenager back in the 60's.
Then, right away it's back to the present, with "but technology today makes everything so much easier."
It's back and forth, back and forth from the present to the past, past to the present.
"You know dad," I finally told him, "you're nothing but a baby boomerang!"
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone...
I said, "The whole time."