Many small towns in rural Maine are too small for a town manager so they elect (select) at their town meetings "Select Persons" to do the town's business. Athens was very proud that they elected the first female Select Person. She was not a native and had recently moved from New Jersey where things were very sophisticated compared to this 130 person town.
Wanting to impress the town's people her first decision was to convince the other two Select Persons to make the main street "One Way Only", just like her home town in NJ. The biggest problem resulting from this decision however, is that everyone can go to work, they just can't get back.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
A cop pulled me over and saids, "Papers."
I turned to him and said, "Scissors. I win!" and then drove away.
A journalist was interviewing a European frog attending an American Football game.
Q. Do you enjoy American Football?
A. Yes, but I prefer Cricket.
Q. I see, you prefer Cricket over Football is that correct?
A. No, I prefer cricket over popcorn.