Latest Jokes

You can tell a woman's mood by her hands...

If she is holding a weapon of any sort, she is not happy!

A man has to take on up a sport at the advice of his doctor, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his buddy asks him how he's doing.

"It's going fine," the man says, "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"

"Really? What happens then?" his friend asks enthusiastically.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? Don't talk nonsense!'"

When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels.

"Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do."

"You're right it wasn't!" Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had, the ones we got from the hotel while we were on vacation."