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Favorite this joke A politician asked a well known author, "Did you know that 'Sumac' and 'Sugar' are the only two words in English, that begin with the letters 'Su' but are pronounced like 'Shu'?"
The author replied, "Sure."
Ben was complaining to his friend Ralph about his new girlfriend. "I think Tonya is a hoarder. I went over to her place for the first time yesterday and everywhere I looked, there were magazines. Dozens of them, strewn around everywhere. People, Good Housekeeping, Readers Digest, TV Guide, Life, Time, Newsweek. You name it, she had it."
"I wouldn't go out with her anymore if I were you," said Ralph.
"Why not?"
"She has issues."
A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.
"To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million," the attorney reads.
"To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million."
"And finally," the lawyer concludes, "to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong. Hi Dan!"
The Feron psychiatric hospital was also a teaching and research institute. Today marked the first day of a new semester. After the students arrived in class, Professor McDoogle introduced herself. She then said, "Please take out a blank sheet of paper and write down you’re deepest thoughts concerning this question: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
The students seemed to be rather puzzled and some even started to giggle a little bit. This was swiftly ended by a stern word from the teacher explaining this paper would result in a third of their grade. She went on to say it may be the most important object lesson they’ll ever learn during their education process. Realizing this was serious and must hold profound meaning far beyond the questions exterior. At this the students began to bare down and search for a solution with great veracity.
Forty five minutes later the students were producing pages of written dialog. Each thought seemed to pose deeper and more complex avenues of discovery as their quest intensified in epic proportion. Just then an orderly poked his head into the classroom.
"There you are, Mrs. McDoogle, we’ve been worried about you. I see you’ve been switching class room numbers again!"
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