Latest Jokes

I was taking a stand-up comedy class but I had to quit...

My teacher was making me feel funny.

Of all the doctors, it's the egomaniac optometrists you've really gotta keep an "I" on!

A mother and daughter were reading tea leaves in the bottom of their cups during lunch. Wanting to get attention the little brother said, "that’s nothing" as he flung spaghetti on the wall. He told his mother and sister that spaghetti was a much more reliable source for reading the future.

The mother took a close look at the spaghetti as it slid down the wall. She said, "I think you’re right, do you see that noodle? It’s telling me you’ll be grounded for a week."