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Favorite this joke A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters.' They are married to God."
"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small, deserted island one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands pulled out the message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
How do two Navy Admirals greet each other?
A NAVAL Salute.
A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But a new expressway bypass meant an alarming increase in traffic. In fact, it was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three a day.
So he called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
So the next day the sheriff went out and put up a sign that read "SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING"
Three days later the farmer called again and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The School Crossing sign seems to make them go faster."
So, again, the sheriff went out and put up a new sign "SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY"
No good. So the farmer calls again...and again, every day for three weeks, but the sheriff just doesn't have time to put up signs every week. Finally, the farmer calls and says he’s taken care of the problem.
The sheriff is curious to see how. So he drives out to the farmer's house, and there on the edge of the road he sees a new sign. It's a whole sheet of plywood. And written in large yellow letters are the words "SLOW: NUDIST COLONY"
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