Latest Jokes

A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.

"I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've been fired from every job."

"Yes," says the man.

"Well," continues the executive, "there's not much positive in that."

"Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application, "At least I'm not a quitter."

What Pokémon would you catch in Rio De Janeiro?

Zikachu.

Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks.

"Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 183."

Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?"

Once upon a tie there were 3 prisoners about to be executed via firing squad and upon asking the first prisoner if they had anything left to say, he yelled, "Oh my God! Killer Bee swarms!" Everyone panicked and scattered and ran and that prisoner was able to escape.

After all the chaos calmed, they brought out the second prisoner. They did the same asking about last words, the prisoner yelled "Tsunami & Tornadoes!" Once again the crowd scattered and prisoner #2 escaped.

Now, everyone was reassembled and they brought out prisoner #3. Same practice once again. This time the prisoner yelled "FIRE!"