Latest Jokes

A young couple was expecting a visit from the pastor of their church. They wanted everything to go smoothly, but their two year old son was just getting the hang of potty training. He was at the stage where he would announce at the top of his voice, "I gotta pee," when he had to go to the bathroom.

His father, worried that this might be embarrassing when the minister came to call, instructed the child, "Don't shout that you've got to pee. Whisper!"

That evening the pastor makes his visit. He's there a very long time and the two year old is on one foot and the other.

Finally, the minister asks him, "What's the matter, son?"

The child looks at his dad and says, "I've gotta whisper!"

Pastor says, "It's all right, child. Whisper in my ear."

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they're bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He took her appendix out!"

I like to smoke whenever and wherever I want. When someone tells me no smoking allowed, I tell them, "No problem, I'll smoke quietly then."

A Shaolin monk, a great philosopher and a priest were walking down a country road and came upon a young farm boy. At that moment the four of them looked up to see a chicken crossing the road.

The question arose, why does the chicken cross the road?

The Shaolin monk said it’s the destiny of the chicken to seek its own path.

The great philosopher said its action teaches a lesson in the ways of nature much like life itself.

The Priest said it’s because it follows the plan of our maker under his divine rule.

Just then the young farm boy spoke up, "Actually, it’s because I left the chicken coop door open."