Latest Jokes

Yo momma is hairy she goes as a werewolf every Halloween.

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Mesut.

How may I assist you?

Hahaha, Yeah right.

So I'm heading up to my parents house driving like 90 mph when a lady cop pulls me over, comes up to my car and she's like...

"Young man, speeding? I've been waiting for you all day."

I look up to her and I say, "I'm so sorry I'm late officer, I got here as fast as I could..."

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in hospital. "How are you grandpa? he asks.

"Feeling fine," says the old man.

"What's the food like?"

"Terrific, wonderful menus."

"And the nursing?"

"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."

"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"

"No problem, nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. I go out like a light."

The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"

"Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of
bed."