Teacher: I hope I didn't just see you looking at Harry's paper, Raymond!
Raymond: I hope so too, teacher!
"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?"
"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win...
If I was late to work, I was hostile.
If I was early, I had an anxiety complex.
If I was on time, I was compulsive."
- So many men, so few who can afford me
- God made us sisters, and Prozac made us friends
- If they don't have chocolate in Heaven, I ain't going!
- My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips
- Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog
- Coffee - Chocolate - Men ... Some things are just better rich
My girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb. One day when she was being particularly dimwitted, I said in frustration, "What's your IQ anyway?!"
She shot back defiantly, "20/20!"