Always borrow money from a pessimist...

...they never expect it back!

Teacher: "Little Johnny, spell 'blind pig'."

Little Johnny: "B-L-N-D, space, P-G."

Teacher: "You forgot the two I's."

Little Johnny: "No, I didn't. A blind pig has no I's."

If George Washington was the father of our country, does that make his father the grandfather of our country?

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!