I locked my keys in the car the other day...

But it was alright, I was still inside.

I feel sorry for Moses... he spent forty years wandering the desert, eating nothing but the bread off the ground and the occasional bird, and every day a million people would come up to him and ask, "Are we there yet?"

Some people who don't like seafood complain that it tastes too fishy...

How can you be so arrogant as to eat something and then complain that it tastes like itself???

The waiter was shocked when I told him I want my salad naked...

Took him a while to figure out I didn't want any dressing.