Two men walk into a bar. The first guy says he wants some H2O.
The second guy says he wants some H2O too.
The second guy died.
I just saw an ad on the New York City subway that read...
“Learn to read and speak English. Call us now!"
I didn't mean to gain all this weight. It happened by snaccident.
How does one feel where there's no coffee?
Depresso!