Bob: "I took a big fall, fell off a 50 ft ladder."
Jim: "Oh wow, are you okay?"
Bob: "Yeah, it's a good thing I only fell off the first step."
A bank robber pulls out a gun, points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!"
The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'"
The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"
Q: What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
A: "Supplies!"
In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for Valentine’s Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it to school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the same box of candy.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."