Two friends were at a bookstore perusing through the nonfiction section.
Friend 1: "Oh my goodness, they have this book! It’s a really great book. I highly recommend it."
Friend 2: "Really? What’s it about?"
Friend 1: "Oh, about 357 pages."
What’s the first thing sea animals learn in school?
Their A-B-Seas.
Definition of Eternity: The last two minutes of a football game.
Joe: When I would wear my hand-me-downs to school, all the boys would make fun of me.
Moe: What did you do?
Joe: I hit them over the head with my purse.