How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
It depends on how many it took under the previous government.
I’m not interested in any diet plan...
Unless of course it lets me use rollover calories!
A commercial boasted that its product could help people live pain-free in their golden years.
“Am I in my golden years?” my wife asked.
“Not at all,” I assured her. “But you are yellowing fast.”
My wife is a compulsive shopper.
She likes to buy everything that’s marked down.
Last night she brought home an escalator!