Past Winners

Dating is like traveling on a bicycle. If you don’t like the journey, you can get off anytime.

Marriage is like traveling by airplane. Once you’re in, you can’t get off that easy.

I got really angry with my car navigation today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."

Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.

Today my doctor told me that my DNA was backwards.

I said, “And?”

- Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

- Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

- Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

- Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

- Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder... louder... LOUDER...

- Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.