Past Winners

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "Sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

Hmmm... I just found a strange piece of plastic on the floor that looks like it broke off of something...

But I have no idea what...

Better save it in the junk drawer until I die.

My father said, "Marry a girl who has the same beliefs as the family."

I said, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?"

ME: What does "competitive salary" mean?

BOSS: It means your salary will be competing with your bills.