Past Winners

My friends from New York talk about how tough their schools were. I’m not impressed. I'm from Texas.

My school had it’s own coroner.

We used to write essays like: “What I want to be IF I grow up...”

I have a new job, telling people about the benefits of dried grapes...

I am raisin awareness!

I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday.

It had “Final Notice” written on the envelope.

Good.

They won’t be bothering me anymore.

Mike and John were talking about their coworker, Dan.

Mike: What happened to Dan today? He didn’t show up to work this morning.

John: Oh, Dan’s in the hospital getting treatment for a few broken bones.

Mike: What happened? I saw him dancing with a woman at the bar last night.

John: Yeah, unfortunately so did his wife.