Past Winners

On March 10, 1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the very first telephone call!

Two days later, an incoming call informed him that the extended warranty on his horse and buggy was expired.

My smoke detector needs a new 9 volt battery...

I always thought that was an odd voltage.

A couple were taking a group tour at a crocodile park when they come across a canal riddled with crocodiles. An eccentric millionaire in the group issued a challenge. Anyone who jumps into the canal and swim across the other side will receive $1 million. If he dies either by drowning or eaten by crocodiles, his widow will get $500,000.

All of a sudden a man jumps into the canal and starts swimming. The crocodiles took after him but somehow he managed to get to the other side unscathed. He gets $1 million, as promised, and gets back to his wife. The wife excitedly says, “I know you could do it, Honey”.

The husband says, “Oh yeah? What would you have done had I died?”

With the same enthusiasm the wife replies, “I would have still got $500,000.”

I found a vinyl record called "Sounds of the Wasps."

When I played it, I said to myself, "This doesn't sound like wasps."

I was right. I was playing the B-side.