Past Winners

A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the girl a quarter and a dollar for church. "Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself," she told the girl.

Sunday, when they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which amount she had given.

"Well," said the little girl, "I was going to give the dollar, but just before the collection the preacher said that God loves a cheerful giver. I knew I'd be a lot more cheerful if I gave the quarter, so that's what I did."

The economy is going to be so bad that...

1. I will get a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

2. You will order a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter will ask, "Can you afford fries with that?"

3. McDonald's will be selling the 1/4 ouncers.

4. CEO's will be playing miniature golf.

5. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds" you may have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Q: If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?

A: K9P.

If the human population held hands around the equator...

A significant portion of them would drown.