Past Winners

A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands.

He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.

The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."

Patient: Doctor, I have a tendency to gain weight in certain places. What would you recommend?

Doctor: Stay out of those places!

Politician (to his lawyer): I'll admit it was a miracle you were able to clear my name. However, I don't understand why you charged me three times the hours of actual work?

Lawyer: It has to do with the law.

Politician: Do you mean to tell me the law told you to triple bill me?

Lawyer: No, but for some odd reason the law doesn't allow me to write the word "bribe" on a billing statement.

Friend 1: Let's go for a movie.

Friend 2: I've got a doctor's appointment today.

Friend 1: Just cancel it, tell him you're sick.