Past Winners

Doctor: "My dear sir, it's a good thing you came to me when you did."

Patient: "Why, Doc, are you broke?"

My daughter called me at work to say I had received a call from "Josh" at the bank regarding my account.

Returning the call to my bank, the operator asked what Josh's last name was. I explained that he hadn't left his last name.

Then she asked for his department, and I said that I didn't know that either.

"There are 1500 employees in this building, ma'am," she told me rather sharply.

So I asked her for her name.

"Danielle," she said.

"And your last name?" I asked.

"Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names."

Little Johnny's family had guests for dinner.

The dessert was apple pie. Mom cut the pieces and Little Johnny carried them to the table.

He gave the first piece to Dad, who passed it to a guest.

Little Johnny came in with the second piece and gave it to Dad, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

Two guys were walking past an outdoor basketball court.

"You want to play Horse?" asked one guy.

His friend replied, "Sure, I guess... but only if I get to be the front legs."