Past Winners

The salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in the department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.

Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half and it snapped with a loud crack.

Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside..."

The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation.

After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, "I don't know what you expect me to do for you. I'm a psychologist."

"A psychologist?" I replied. "Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can't you help us?"

"Well," he finally responded in a measured tone. "How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?"

"It takes Bill a day and a night to tell a story."

"He'd make a good bookkeeper, I should think."

"Why do you say that?"

"He's never short on his accounts."

For once, instead of the ridiculous statement, "Please note our menu options have changed..."

How about, "Our menu options are the same as they have been for years. Just prepare to be on hold for a very long time..."