Past Winners

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said, "Chopsticks are provided only on request."

"But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks."

"True," the waiter shot back, "but we'd have to hire two more people to sweep the floor."

This homeschooling is not working out... I just heard my child say, "I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year!"

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.

I came into my house and told my dog... we laughed a lot.

A grocery store manager chased a shoplifter through dry goods and frozen foods before catching him with a flying tackle in cleaning supplies.

That's when the manager noticed that all of the customers in line at the cash registers were staring.

"Everything's fine, folks," he assured them. "This guy just tried to go through the express lane with more than ten items."