Past Winners

My uncle was crushed by a piano....

His funeral was very low key

A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.

“I am a turtle,” he says.

“Who’s on your back?”

“That’s Michelle.”

Father: Now Little Johnny, be good while I’m away.

Little Johnny: Okay dad, I’ll be good for a dollar.

Father: Why son, when I was your age I was good for nothing!

Me to the postman: This empty envelope must be from my sister Charlotte.

Postman: Now why would she send you an empty envelope?

Me: We had an argument, and she's not talking to me..