The real estate agent is following up with an elderly gentlemen after showing him a new home. Over the phone the agent indicated, "This house will be worth double what you paid for it in a few years."
The older gentleman laughs, "At my age, it's a risk buying green bananas."
They say you shouldn't go grocery shopping when you're hungry...
But I ran out of food a few days ago, and it's just getting worse!
At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.
"I want to surprise her. You see, I'm her brother."
"Oh, she'll be surprised all right," said the woman. "But think of how surprised I am, I'm her mother!"
I can't stand it when people don't know the difference between your and you're...
There so stupid!