Sam: Do you know the difference between a guest towel and toilet paper?
Bob: No...
Sam: In that case, don't use our bathroom.
I'm always in the right place!
Unfortunately it's always at the wrong time.
Which is heavier: a litre of water or a litre of butane?
The water.
No matter how much you have, butane will always be a lighter fluid.
Last week a friend and I decided to take a day off and go to the race track.
I bet on a horse at 10 to one.
It came in at quarter past four.