My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.
I said, “Wait, I can change!”
How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What does it matter?
It's just going to go out again, anyway.
My new friend has a very Irish name...
O'Really?
A piece of gold walked into a Texas bar...
The bartender said, “Au, get out of here!”