Past Winners

A good speech needs a good beginning and a good ending...

... and they should be as close together as possible.

A snake slithered into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. “I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but I can’t serve you.”

“Why not?” asked the snake.

“Because you can’t hold your drink.”

Little Johnny goes to the local Farm & Ranch store to buy bird feed.

The salesperson ask how many birds does he have?

Little Johnny replies, "None, I want to grow some."

An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.

Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."

"You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the busy waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time.