Past Winners

Last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.

The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"

I replied, "You really want to know?"

Then I dropped out of the race.

How are wives like hand grenades?

Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!

A woman buys many gallons of milk from the milkman one day.

"Why do you need so much milk?" the mailman asks.

The lady replies, "I heard that taking baths in milk makes you healthier and prettier."

The milkman asks, "Would you like the milk pasteurized?"

She answers, "No, just up to the neck".

Which runs faster, HOT or COLD?

HOT because anyone can catch a COLD.