Past Winners

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."

I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”

He said, “You have a wee cough?”

I said, “Really? Thanks boss, I could use a week off!"

Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?"

His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer."

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they have to do it while you're eating dinner.