Past Winners

What did the cobbler say when a cat wondered into his shop?

SHOE!

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"

The judge said that was true.

"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked.

The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

The man turned and looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."

Teacher: "Okay class let's start by sharing our dreams. What's yours David?"

David: "My dream is to earn $20,000 a month like my dad."

Teacher: "Wow! Your dad earns that much?"

David: "No ma'am, that's also my dad's dream."

You know what really makes me smile?

Facial muscles.