Past Winners

Two mountaineers reached a huge, deep fissure in a glacier.

"Careful here," says one of them. "My mountain guide fell down there last year."

"I bet you felt bad about that," says the other.

He quipped, "Not really, it was pretty old and missing a few pages."

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

"I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions."

My husband was going on a diet, but when we pulled into a fast-food restaurant, he ordered a milkshake. I pointed out that a shake isn't exactly the best snack for someone who wants to lose weight. He agreed, but he didn't change his order.

The long line must have given him time to make the connection between his order and his waistline. As the woman handed him his shake, she said, "Sorry about the wait."

"That's okay," he replied. "I'm going to lose it."

Tommy had reached school age. His Mom worked hard to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet, and so on.

The first day of school, he eagerly set off. When he came back home he had a lot of glowing reports about school!

Next morning his Mom woke him up saying, "Tommy, it's time to get ready for school."

Tommy said, "What? Again?"