Past Winners

Father to Daughter: It's a good thing you chose to takes accounting at school.

Daughter: How come?

Father: Because I want you to account for coming home at five am this morning.

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!"

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."

"That'll teach them!" I replied.

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Boy: Do you love me?

Girl: Yes dear.

Boy: Would you die for me?

Girl: No, mine is an undying love.