Past Winners

Waiter: These are the best eggs we have had for years!

Customer: Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long!

When I was in school, I used to ask a lot of questions. One day I asked Ms. Doris, our English teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters 'H' like in hour, honest, honor, etc?"

Ms. Doris replied, "We are not ignoring them. They are considered silent."

During the lunch break, Ms. Doris gave me her packed lunch & asked me to heat it in the cafeteria. I ate all the food and returned her an empty container.

Ms. Doris asked me, "What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food & you are returning me an empty container?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Doris, I thought the 'H' was silent."

Teacher: Railroad crossing at the track. How many R's in that?

Little Johnny: There are no R's in 'that'.

Wife: "Do you want to eat something?"

Me: "Maybe, what are the options?"

Wife: "Yes or no!"