Past Winners

Why do seals swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

If ever u feel overloaded by life, wife or work, Immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center & place order for any 1 or more of the following Antidotes:

1. Wife Irritation Neutralizing Extract (WINE)
2. Refreshing Unique Medicine (RUM)
3. Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER)
4. Vaccino Officio Depression Killing Antigen (VODKA)
5. Wife High Infusing Suspicion Killing Energy Yeast (WHISKEY)

I once swallowed a dictionary.

It gave me thesaurus throat I ever had.

A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.

"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."